well... it's been 2 weeks since i last blogged.. somehow i dun feel too good now.. not physically but more of emotionally... so many things can happen just within one hour!!! oh well.. may as well just write it down.. you guys wanna read just go ahead lor..
just now me and darling finally met after 2 days when i was in Panti.. thought everything would go well.. went to TLC to settle some matters regarind the convention.. after that went to C3 to get my lunch and later went to block 40.. till this point of time everything was still alright.. then wanted to feed dear some food.. dunno how i did it but i just spilled the contents on the spoon all over.. totally freaked out, and wonder what have i done.. wanted to cool dear down coz she was really angry but i knew i wasn;t too good at doing it. may make things worse too.. sux totally.. for once i wasn't me at that time.. stupid me... somehow i just felt something went totally wrong, till i sent dear for lecture..
does such a sign means something bad gonna happen? and if so, how bad is it?
now for the second saddening thing.. just finished my presentation not long ago.. thought i could accomplish it without much difficulties. but i realised i made a fool out of myself.. like as if i'm totally unprepared.. maybe i am, maybe i'm just too assuring towards myself.. too re-assuring... stupid me one more time.. screwed up the whole thing.. well, and i think i just made jin hate me more? haiz... and maybe lose more respect from my classmates coz i just made a fool up of myself.. scrolling of slides, i can also screw it up.. grrr... should have done everything alone when i knew it's a group project thing.. it's good to be doing things alone at times, though i know no one can survive alone like what pastor ulf said before in one of his conventions.. well.. just blaming myself and treating this blog as my way of venting things out.. but i somehow made myself feel even more worse..
losing respect from friends sure isn't a thing to be fiddled with.. and once you lose control of it, seriously that's it.. like me.. somehow i think why i'm with them till now it's coz of i used to be in the same clique as them etc? i may be wrong, but that's what i'm thinking now..
and one more thing, realised i can't hand up my POM report today.. one was i didn't get from minghua the peer assessment forms.. next, when i saw how Bevan andDesmond did their reports.. i was utterly shocked.. theirs can be so good that they can get As for it and maybe for myself a pass? haiz.. gonna revamp what i did for the report.. seriously, mine is really sub standard to them and i felt so inferior to them.. maybe i'm just being over-reactive but oh well.. enough for now le...
stupid me..
stupid me..
stupid me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
hate myself..
hate myself..
hate myself..
kill myself..
kill myself..
kill myself..
just now me and darling finally met after 2 days when i was in Panti.. thought everything would go well.. went to TLC to settle some matters regarind the convention.. after that went to C3 to get my lunch and later went to block 40.. till this point of time everything was still alright.. then wanted to feed dear some food.. dunno how i did it but i just spilled the contents on the spoon all over.. totally freaked out, and wonder what have i done.. wanted to cool dear down coz she was really angry but i knew i wasn;t too good at doing it. may make things worse too.. sux totally.. for once i wasn't me at that time.. stupid me... somehow i just felt something went totally wrong, till i sent dear for lecture..
does such a sign means something bad gonna happen? and if so, how bad is it?
now for the second saddening thing.. just finished my presentation not long ago.. thought i could accomplish it without much difficulties. but i realised i made a fool out of myself.. like as if i'm totally unprepared.. maybe i am, maybe i'm just too assuring towards myself.. too re-assuring... stupid me one more time.. screwed up the whole thing.. well, and i think i just made jin hate me more? haiz... and maybe lose more respect from my classmates coz i just made a fool up of myself.. scrolling of slides, i can also screw it up.. grrr... should have done everything alone when i knew it's a group project thing.. it's good to be doing things alone at times, though i know no one can survive alone like what pastor ulf said before in one of his conventions.. well.. just blaming myself and treating this blog as my way of venting things out.. but i somehow made myself feel even more worse..
losing respect from friends sure isn't a thing to be fiddled with.. and once you lose control of it, seriously that's it.. like me.. somehow i think why i'm with them till now it's coz of i used to be in the same clique as them etc? i may be wrong, but that's what i'm thinking now..
and one more thing, realised i can't hand up my POM report today.. one was i didn't get from minghua the peer assessment forms.. next, when i saw how Bevan andDesmond did their reports.. i was utterly shocked.. theirs can be so good that they can get As for it and maybe for myself a pass? haiz.. gonna revamp what i did for the report.. seriously, mine is really sub standard to them and i felt so inferior to them.. maybe i'm just being over-reactive but oh well.. enough for now le...
stupid me..
stupid me..
stupid me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
foolish me..
hate myself..
hate myself..
hate myself..
kill myself..
kill myself..
kill myself..
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